COS ~ Enoch Cell

Light of the world,

You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes, let me see

Beauty that made this heart adore You

Hope of my life spent with You

And here I am to worship

Here I am to bow down

Here I am to say that You're my God

You're altogether lovely

Altogether worthy

Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days

Oh, so highly exalted

Glorious in heaven above

Humbly You came to the earth You created

All for love's sake became poor

I'll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Testimony

(This was the testimony I shared during cell yesterday, but I didn't really tell you guys the full story about it :P)
For 15 years in my life, I was only a Christian by name.
It was only at the age of 15 around October when the Lord called me back to Him.
Well, initially, He reminded me of a sin I've committed against my mom 6 years ago.
Though I told Him that I'm willing to repent through confessing it to Him only, He send me people to tell me that He will only forgive me if I confessed it to my mom.
One day, while my mom and I was in the bedroom, I felt a strong sense of the Holy Spirit persuading me to confess to my mom. I did it eventually, and somehow I felt a burden being lifted up :)
However, the devil did not sit back and do nothing. he began to put thoughts and doubts in my mind.
Saying that GOD doesn't loves me, and that I've committed a sin and nothing is gonna change even through confessing & repentance.
(Please don't tell anyone related to me by blood/family about this, b'cos I dun want them to worry)
Because of those thoughts, I even had the idea of committing suicide.
When I look at my kitchen windows especially (b'cos its always open), I could imagine myself running towards it and drop down.
Because of that, I couldn't sleep well for a couple of days b'cos I was afraid that I will eventually sleepwalk and walk towards the windows and so forth.
I didn't really eat for about a month too.
However, the Lord encouraged me through a book(The Purpose Driven Life) saying that all of us (including me) were created by Him and for Him.
Even in dreams, the devil was asking me to jump off a building. But I didn't.

At that moment, only GOD was the answer and only His Words could be used as a weapon to fight against these situations.
Therefore, I had no choice but to read His Words daily.
As time goes, those suicidal ideal slowly got away and I've found a purpose in life. Which was to worship Him and magnify His Glorious Name.
Day by day, I began to develop the habit of doing quiet time and spending time with the Lord.
Initially, I was somehow being "force" to do quiet time, but now, I do it because I love Him.

What I wanna say is that, when the Lord calls you back to Him, be obedient to His calling :)
Unlike me, I was disobedient to His calling & I rebelled.
I guess that's the reason why the Lord had no choice but to make me go through all those.
And it was only at the age of 16 when I really accepted Jesus as my personal Lord & Savior :)

During this period of time, the Lord did not leave me nor forsake me.
I was only walking in the valley of the shadow of death, and He was bringing me through it.
So, if GOD could change my life, believe that He could also do the same to you only if you're willing to open your heart to Him.
After all, He is the same GOD that you and I are worshiping :)
All glory to JESUS :D

-Janice-

I shone with Jesus @ | 4:08 PM